New Years Eve and a Podcast

Its New Years Eve!!! We have approximately six hours until it is 2012 and I am excited... sort of. I know that I should write a speech that I have been procrastinating ALL break... and I know that I should edit another speech that has also gone "forgotten." However, I cannot bring myself to do it. Instead, I am listening to an online podcast from June 23rd. Why is this specific podcast worthy of the frequent repeat? Its an interview with one of my favorite missionaries! I went on a few dates lately and realized how lucky I have been in the past. I need to quickly continue my search, though, because these feelings of longing.... suck. Soon I get to visit with his family however and I am so excited! Its been a long time since my last trip to Pocatello :) As of midnight, there will be only 236 days until I can see my friend!!!

New Years Goals (i feel like the term "Resolution" just dooms us):
1. Make a Picture-A-Day Book. Take one pic a day. Must remember.
2. Blog More
3. Minimize the procrastination! Its so hard to focus!
4. Improve my GPA
5. Read more books for fun!

To all my fellow bloggers and readers: Have a wonderful and fantastic 2012 and I will speak to you soon :)

Until Next Time.

Wow... What a Semester!

I'm done!!! This semester has been fast, yet slow; busy, yet boring; great, yet terrible. But i have survived, and been victorious!!! 3.82 GPA: 2 A's, 4 A+'s, and 1 B... but it was in Math so I am OK with that :).

Wow I feel like it has been forever since I have blogged. The last time, i was at the Lewis & Clark tournament. Since then a lot has happened. We went to the College of Idaho tournament (what a joke), and then to Linfield... that was a great day. This was one of our most important wins, and the most fulfilling :). Coming off that high, we need to win Pacific. and i mean NEED. In order to do that, I need to write a brand new persuade, edit and revise my inform, get information to prep for impromptu, and read the news!!! Lots to do, and I'm working 30-40 hours a week. I'm such a busy worker!

Until Next Time.... which will be about 10 seconds...

Life, and all that Jazz...

I have been so busy lately! We had a tournament this past weekend (thursday-sunday) at Lewis & Clark University in Portland, Oregon. We took first!!! :)

Its Midterms this week, so i have a biggggg exam tomorrow, along with debate team pictures and work. Busy day!

My sister sent me a package today!!! It was so sweet! I <3 her so much :)

Lastly, I really really really love John Mayer and just discovered this song on one of my CDs.... I hope you enjoy it as i have :)

 Some of the team @ Multnoma Falls!

 Robin and Cassie

 Myself and Joshua 

Inform finalists... All Boise State! :)

Package from my sister! JB toothbrush sings bahaha

Mmmmm.... John Mayer....

Well.....

Until Next Time.

Debate Season has Officially Started!

I am so excited! We just got home from our first tournament of the year, which went AMAZING! It was at the College of Southern Idaho (CSI) in Twin Falls, and we competed both yesterday and today.

Leading up to the tournament, I was a wreck. I was SO stressed with school and work and memorizing my speeches. Luckily, I finished most of my workload. I finished completely memorizing my Persuasive speech on Thursday, but I didn't completely finish memorizing my Inform... sigh... Anyways, I started competition hoping that I would at least get an award in one of my events. Debate was/ always is very subjective so I try not to speculate how I am doing through the tournament. I ended up placing second in Open IPDA debate!!! I was ecstatic! I had never done so well, especially in Open (as opposed to Novice.) Additionally, I also got TOP speaker in Open IPDA as well :)

Aside from debate, I performed my persuade from memory, and my inform from notecards (unfortunately). Because of small numbers in events, there wasn't a final round for persuade, but I broke to the Final round in Informative! I was super nervous and it definitely showed. I will do better next time. I ended up getting 5th in Inform, and Second in Persuade!!! I am glad that all the hard work that I have put in over the past month actually paid off!

As a team, we got Team Sweepstakes (which is 1st) !!! It was a great way to start off the year! I am so stoked to start working on new speeches! Gotta get a new one before Lewis & Clark, which is only TWO WEEKS AWAY!

Well, I will be back... as soon as I am completely not busy :)

Until Next Time.

Emotional

I am so emotional right now, plus i just got home from an 8- hour debate workday.... yeah...

So a few things.

First, I should be doing my reading. But I have to be in the right mindset, and I am SO not there...

Second, If you have something to say to me or about me, please say it to ME. I am so sick of people talking behind my back (or talking behind other's backs). We're not in High School anymore and I am just tired of it. If we really are "good friends" (which i thought we were), we can be more adult than this.

Third and last, life is hard. Trying to figure out who I want to be and how I want to live my life is really tough and trying and difficult. I can tell these next few years are going to test everything that I am right now. I guess we will see how it turns out...


P.S: I figured that it was about time for a change.... what do you think of the new blog design? :)


Until Next Time...

Holy August!

WOW! This month has flown by SO quickly! I cannot believe that it is almost September! Well since I just got off work and do not want to do any homework yet, I will write a quick post! Quick,Quick,Quick!!!

So work has been good; had a little drama but its better now. One of our GSTL's is leaving us tomorrow... We will miss you, Gina!!! Sam returned from Chinese Camp!!! but... i haven't seen her yet! unhead of!

School is INSANELY busy already. I've already been asigned 75 pages of reading in one class (that was due today), 45 in another, about 30 from a texbook, and 3 math assignments (due sunday)!!! PLUS, I had a meeting with my debate coach, Manda, today and I need to put together a draft of my persuade speech...

I finally got all of my lost mail. It was only 2 weeks late! GAH! Its ok, post master, #304 totally looks like #202...

Tacos tomorrow night with the boys, then hanging out wih some friends from last year! And after that, homework... all weekend long.
Wish me Luck.

Until Next Time.

God is SO Good! :)

I did it. I finally got baptized!!! Last night at Engage Truth we had an AMAZING worship service and I just surrendered everything to God; all the crap in my life and all my struggles. I realized that this hole in my heart that i've been trying to fill with emotions or boys or just physical crap was really meant for God! I've been neglecting my relationship with him all summer and I realized I needed to step up. So after the service, we loaded up and went to a nearby neighbor's pool and about 10 of us got baptized! I feel refreshed and ready to love the Lord with all my heart :)

Also, I have realized another thing: No matter how my relationship with "the boy" progresses, I know the Lord put him in my life so I could meet his family, and specifically his mother. She has become such a great friend to me and such a positive influence in my life. I honestly love her to death!!! :)


Until Next Time.

Thoughts from a Hasting's Cafe

I'm sitting here, in my favorite florida sun dress, and working on my persuade... I CANNOT FOCUS! I think it might just be that it is summertime, and i'm doing debate. Sounds wrong to me.

I'm making new playlists on Spotify; currently listening to The Book of Mormon musical. Interesting stuff...

I do not know why I chose this topic for my persuade. I mean I love it, but it is completely oposite of how I think so it is incredibly difficult. bahhhhhhh.

The cafe girl today made my drink WAY TERRIBLE. I am just choking it down.

There was a new blog post today from my east-coast friend. And supposedly, I have a package coming :)

I hate working softlines at Target... I work it again tonigh : /

I WANNA START A BOOK CLUB; some books i would like to "study" are:
    
       1. The Help
       2. The Hunger Games books (again)
I have many others as well.... just cant remember them now :)

Wow, I am so organized today.
Until Next Time.

Hello Boise

Well, i've made it. As of Wednesday, I have returned to Boise. I came down with my mom and am SO glad she came with! We got practically everything I needed plus more... I am going to miss her. Now that i'm back, the "real world" is back as well. I have another 40 hour work week, but its worse now because has an extra 40 minutes of driving each day.... woooooo. And this week I JUST cashier. And trust me, 40hrs of standing in one spot is T-E-R-R-I-B-L-E. 'nuff said.

I've also logged some hours into my scrapbook since i've been here. It truely is therapy for me :)

The next few weeks before school starts will definitely be interesting... And Sam is gone for 2 weeks :(


Until Next Time

Summer's End.

I had my last day at Idaho Falls Target yesterday; T-1082. It was bittersweet. Some people frusterate me and sometimes i reallllly hate that place. But this summer i have gotten close to so many people that i never got to before. I will miss these people so much. And going back to my Boise store T-1230 will be interesting. Definitley going to have to make another transition. I am getting exhaused from changing my life so much. I wish i could just stay constant for a bit.

Last night, we also had a big reunion retirement party for my high school debate coach Mrs. Amy Walker. I have missed Mrs. Walker this past year and I know she will continue to change lives, even though she is no longer in the high school. It was pretty fantastic to see all of the old debaters as well. I met new people and reconnected with some old ones. Brian Bean, Edson Estrada, Brittany Wooley, Aimee Moon, and Mike Irving to name a few. I am definitely going to put forth effort to not lose contact again.

Moving to Boise on Wednesday... Here's to hoping it goes well!

People I will miss from Idaho Falls:
Tia
Angel
Ethan
Ed
Erin
Stephanie
and SOOOOOOOOO many more!

Until Next Time.

Wishes and Dreams

There's always things that I wish people would do. You know Fantasy vs. Reality? Here are a few of mine...

1. I don't want to just "hang out." I want to go on dates. Not so I can get married, but so I can meet new people and have fun.
2. I think romance was really beautiful in the first half of the 1900s. When it was a huge landmark to get to hold someone's hand. And when a kiss meant so much more than just a kiss. I wish that type of courtship still existed. When "friends with benefits" was unheard of.
3. I wish individuals purposefully worked hard each and every day to be the best example for their children. Having a mean drunk father is not encouraging.
4. I wish true love, fairy-tale, happily ever after stories really existed.
5. I love Facebook and the internet as much as the next girl, but I wish people talked on the phone! I miss having long conversations with people just getting to know them. Instead, everything about a person is most likely on their profile. Their likes, dislikes, people they hang out with, and you can practically tell who a person is by browsing through their pics. You can know all about a person without interacting with them.

I'm not complaining about my life, or my family. I am just stating what i wish still existed...

Just a few thoughts.
Until Next Time.

Self-Control

Tonight, I am proud of myself :)

Misery.

Over thinking things will be the death of me. I swear it. I hate the fact that I cannot talk to my friend for another 13 months. I hate that I am almost to my breaking point thinking about what I "feel."

I wouldn't doubt it if i had a breakdown in the next few days. 

I don't know exactly who to talk to. This situation is just so complicated. I complicated it. And now I hate myself for that...

And lastly, I hate that I have 13 months to figure this all out. I just want to work it out n-o-w.

Maroon 5 currently is making it all worse... but I cannot stop listening because I love Adam Levine so much. Oh Robin...

Until Next Time.

Small Town Moms

I feel like I always have these profound thoughts while at work... it is lovely :)

Today, my friend Austin "Az" Hammer's mom came in and I saw her about to walk out. We both did the double take, you know the look you give a person when you are 99% sure you know them but dont want to say anything? Well she took off her sunglasses and came straight over to the Service Desk to talk to me. She is SO NICE! Now I haven't been the best of friends with Az, but I have gone to school with him since elementary school. He's a good friend! His mom told me about his missionary journey's in Colorado, and we talked about life, and roommates, and college. It was great to see her and just talk for a few minutes. She is always so nice, and caring, and smiley, and just a genuinely kind person :)

I feel the exact same way when I see Spencer "Spenny" Tolson's mom and Tyson Oswald's mom! I went to the sweetheart dance with Spenny my junior year and met his mom then. Every time she asks if I remember her :)
And I've also gone to school with Tyson since elementary school. And his mom worked with my mom "way back then."

These mom's are all just so nice and caring and I love them! I'm glad that i have positive influences like that in my life. That is a reason why i am glad I grew up in Idaho Falls.

Until Next Time.

Vintage Beauty

Lately, I've been REALLY into vintage. Which is odd because I've always HATED vintage clothing. I am in complete love with lace and pearls and old dresses and such :) So after work, I decided to go vintage hunting with my brother by my side. After a few hours, we were annoyed and had bought nothing. I was so sad. I might have been too picky or too particular, but I know what I want; and it wasn't at these shops.

I gave up and came home. Then i got a brilliant idea, and i asked my mom if i could look in her closet. There were some very interesting dresses and clothes in there. But hidden behind it all was both of my mom's wedding dresses. I tried on her one from 1995 and it fit me great, but it wasn't really what i was looking for... and then i saw lace lace lace lace lace :) 

I was skeptical though because this one was from 1985 and kind of looked "weird." But it fit me PERFECTLY. and it was beautiful. That's the only word i can use to describe it. I am going to live in this dress.

1995- Mom married my dad, Brad Birkinbine

1985- Mom married my dad, Don Jensen

It was even so perfect that my favorite pearl necklace looks so great with it :) I just love this dress... Can you tell?

As I grow a little older every day, I am reminded how lucky I am to have the mother I have. I love her so much! And I dont say this often, but I am glad that there is a resemblance :)

I'd have to say that today was very successful. Thank you Mom :)

Until Next Time.

Road Trip and everything following...

My mini 24 hour road trip to Boise was so much fun! I arrived on Thursday around 4 then went to view some houses with my good friend Shan. Then came my visit to my favorite Boise Target! :) I got to see Dayna, and Tyson, and my favorite SAM!!! I had missed them all so much :) From there, I went to see my parents for a bit (not real parents, but Sam and Mallory). HP7 was next! There were SO MANY CRAZIES! But somehow we got the theater with the normal people... thank goodness!!! The movie was incredibly gooooood!!! LOVE LOVE LOVED IT! Then came sleepover time!

I met with Casey, my new roommate after grabbing a delicious mango smoothie from Tully's :) I love our apartment, its super cute! Debate was next.... it was interesting. Then after chatting with Josh, me and my added passenger Cassie headed back to Southeast Idaho. It was a great trip. I am excited to move back in T-18 days!!!

The one bad thing that came from this trip: I got progressively sicker and sicker. I was sent home early from work today so that I could go to the doctor. And I don't have Strep A... shocker. I never have Strep A, I always have something worse. BUT I got myself some fancy antibiotics and hopefully i'll be as good as new in just a few days! I did have to miss a wedding today though... I was really looking forward to wearing my new, super cute shift-dress :(

Things that I have loved from the past few days:

Maroon 5 (blasted it the WHOLE car ride)

Berry Voluntary Ben&Jerry's ice cream from Target

Harry Potter 7

Normal People

Samantha Lee

Tully's Coffee's Mango Smoothie (literally tastes just like a mango)

Clam Strips

Hilarious Ethan at work

My new touch screen phone

My fabulous rant of a blog :)

My Mouthguard (Actually, i am just SICK OF THIS THING!)

Until Next Time.

Fast-Forward

Do you ever wish life had a fast forward button? I sure do. Sometimes i wish i could just find an amazing guy, get  married, buy a house, and start my life. So many of my peers are doing that so why not me?

In 2008, I met a very attractive boy at a local debate tournament. Our only communication was when I told him that  he looked like "Clark Kent from Smallville." Yeah, embarrassing... But from that we became friends; distant friends, but friends none-the-less. We would talk occasionally online, and always make plans to hang out... which never happened. When he returned from a mission in October 2010, I vowed we would be better friends and ACTUALLY hang out, well... because he was hot :) . And he seemed absolutely perfect for me. In January 2011, we began talking frequently and soon after started dating. Things moved very quickly for us, and come March, I thought I was in love with him and would marry this man. But after a week with absolutely no contact with him, I realized I was mistaken. Everything had moved so quickly that I hadn't had time to really think about it all.

Maybe some people can meet someone and marry them shortly after and stay together forever. But I, however, need time, and I need to create a life for myself, before I go and share it with another human being. I need to get my degree and start my career and be financially and emotionally stable. I have grown up immensely in one year's time and I am continuing to change and create myself. Now this may change. I may meet someone that can help me gain all of these things. But for now, I need to focus on Me.

Until Next Time.

Best Love Story EVER

Wow, i forgot how much I LOVE A Walk to Remember, the movie. It truly is a timeless love story. Quiet, loner girl attracts popular bad-boy, they fall in love, she has cancer, they fall deeper in love, and tragedy pulls them apart. Mandy Moore plays the role of Jamie Sullivan flawlessly. Her ability to switch emotions in a second makes her 100% believable, and right from the start, you want her to "win." And as for Shane West, his portrayal of Landon Carter is the perfect portrayal of bad boy turned good. No matter how much he fights his feelings, he falls completely head-over-heals in love with Jamie. But the real tear-jerker comes into place when we find out that Jamie has leukemia. And when Landon appears on his runaway doctor father's doorstep asking for assistance, you cannot help but let your emotions get the best of you. Nicholas Sparks has created one of the best love stories EVER. If you have yet to watch this, it is a must see, 100%.  [plus, I WILL have a wedding dress like Jamie's :)  ]

I will have a wedding like this :)


Until Next Time.

Luck

Cleaned up puke at work today... twice in 3 hours.

Had to clean up an overflowing toilet.

Cannot find my "A Walk to Remember" book.

The Library didn't have "A Walk to Remember" in.

Couldn't find my "A Walk to Remember" movie... (so i bought it at hastings for $4).

Life is just peachy.

That is all.

Until Next Time.

Work Rants

There is always a conversation that seems to resurface quite often while at work. And that topic is Marriage. But not in the sense of "oh I want to get married, i'm so excited, blah blah blah." In Idaho Falls, people get married INSANELY young. There are already at least 10 people from my graduating class married, and more that are engaged. That doesn't happen in normal places!!!!! Ok, alright, that's fine and dandy. But what really makes me genuinely sad is that a lot of these people end up staying in Idaho Falls. ALSO, what's worse is when you see people who graduated 4 years ago and they are not in school, do not have degrees, have a 3 year old child, and are just working... They had so much going for themselves when they graduated! What happened?!?! These people could be doing SO much more with their lives!!! And it is because of these people that i VOW that I WILL get my degree and do something with my life. (I swear, in IF there HAS to be something in the water that does this to people...)

On another note, I called my Target Store 1230 today... I am SOOOOO excited to head back!!! T- 24 days and counting! I got to talk to HR Tyson and I remembered how much I LOVE THAT GUY!!! He's the best!!! Sadly, my friend Sam informed me that he is transferring stores and leaving next Friday... :(
I will have to visit him when i go road-tripping this Thursday!

Well, it is cleaning day... woooo. Better get back to it.

Until Next Time.

Official Adult!

Its offical, i am now a full-blown adult... Got myself a credit card. Now the self-control factor comes into play. I CANNOT get in debt! Just pay rent, and start earning credit! This was a long process... First, Idaho Central Credit Union made me go through a long application, only to be rejected.... hate them...
But, USAA came to my rescue!!! Had to talk to a lady on the phone, which if you know me, i am TERRIFIED of talking to strangers on the phone. But i endured and got myself a nice new Platinum card :) So happy!

Well, there's my rant for the day. Hope you enjoyed. Now to go to Jackson :)

Until Next Time.

Target Works Wonders

While working a FANTASTIC 3.25 hour shift (note my sarcasm), I had a fantastic (no sarcasm) chat with my friend James. And of course, it was all centered around... Stupid Girl Emotions. HATE THEM. Missing an ex is hard. Not sure what missing them means is even harder. But what's hardest is when you cannot talk to them for more than a year. Yup, I think I take the cake in this department. I tend to overthink pretty much every aspect of my life; especially when i am zoning softlines and every little thought in my mind surfaces. I can't forget ANYTHING in Target!!! gah! But that's when James came into play. He is a great pep-talker. Helped me think through some stuff, put some questions on my mind which i need to figure out...

So pretty much this post is to just say... THANKS JAMES!!! I still want my mashed potatoes.


Until Next Time.

Something New...

Well, i finally have become a part of society... Here is my blog! My life feels like it is constantly in a state of transition, and hopefully writing about it will help ease the confusion of everything surrounding me!

As for me, I slave my life away at my place of employment: the all powerful Target. work work work work work... seriously. But all is well :) I will be moving back to the big Boise for school in 3 days shy of a month!!! It will be great to get back into my "normal" life. As if any part of it/me is normal.

Coming up this week:
- A roadtrip to Jackson to see my 'long-lost' father... its been 4 years!
- A long anticipated roadtrip to Boise for a debate workshop... and HP7 with Sam!
- Work Work Work Work Work...

Short post. Interesting stuff to come.


Until next time.