"For after much tribulation come the blessings." -D&C 58:4

Wow. It has been a while. Sorry Twitterverse, I suck. But you know what that means...

TIME FOR AN UPDATE

• This summer was rough. I didn't save near as much money as I would have liked. And I was kind of an emotional wreck... But I think I've told you about that before.
• August came and brought with it a NEW ROOMMATE! Actually, I've roomed with Cassie before, but this time is different. Cass and I were roommates in 2011... and it was bad. We hated each other. However, we have grown, we have matured, and we have been spiritually changed through the Gospel. It's amazing what Heavenly Father can do with two college girls. I love living with Cassie (although sometimes I don't see her for days and days!)
• Every Sunday this summer, I had the opportunity to go sing hymns with some of my friends from Unison choir. This gave me far more blessings than I ever could have imagined!!! In 30-45 minutes, we were able to feel the Spirit so strongly! Some highlights from that: When walkers or bike riders would sing with us, when I would discover a new favorite hymn, or when I was able to make some great friends. I loved tunnel singing so much. 
• I am finally a SENIOR! #SoStoked. However, this year isn't all it's cracked up to be...

 I AM DYING

• I am working in two different high schools, Eagle High and Meridian High, and I love it!!! I love working with the kids, and I look forward to the day when I start teaching them lessons!
• I also hate my internships. I AM DRIVING SO MUCH. Sometimes I drive almost two hours total in a single day... without any pay or compensation for gas. Which means...

I AM SO POOR

• I don't know if I've ever been this poor. It is terrible. I miss food. Luckily, my mom is coming to visit and help me a bit!!!
• I haven't seen my family since July 31st... I miss them so much!
• My classes are tough, but not too bad... the only bad thing is that I have SO MUCH WORK and SO MUCH READING for them... bleh.

I have two things left:

First: I love UNISON choir. I can't express my love for my choir any more than simply saying that I love my choir. I feel the spirit so strongly every day we practice or have a performance. I love being President because I get to work with our director one-on-one and he has become such an awesome influence in my life. And he has become a wonderful friend and mentor to me. I am very grateful for him. Because of my position, I have decided to take a step out of my bubble and try to exemplify my position and calling to the best of my ability. I have met every person in my choir and tried to show my love for them in every interaction. I hope they know that our Heavenly Father and our Savior, Jesus Christ, love them and that they are always welcome into the fold. I love my family in choir :)

Second: Although I am stressed and busy beyond belief, I have been blessed with an incredible boyfriend who helps me through these rough times. He came into my life at an extremely inconvenient time... but I am so glad that he did. My life is so much happier with him in it :) I know my Heavenly Father is watching over me and that he has sent him to help me through this stress-ball of a life.

So that is my life. It will continue to change... it always does. I will try to procrastinate more and keep you updated more often! 

Until Next Time.

"Moving on Doesn't Take a Day; It Takes a Lot of Little Steps to be Able to Break Free of Your Broken Self."

OH, Memories...

This song is really hitting close to home lately. While my relationship life has been crazy over this past year, this 'song' is still on my heart and in my mind. I am so grateful for the experiences that I've been able to have, whether they were fun and amazing, or hard and challenging, I know that Heavenly Father has something planned for me that is WAY better than the plan I thought I wanted... I just wish I knew what it was right now!

I'm so glad you made time to see me.
How's life? Tell me how's your family?
I haven't seen them in a while.
You've been good, busier than ever,
We small talk, work and the weather,
Your guard is up and I know why.
Because the last time you saw me
Is still burned in the back of your mind. 
You gave me roses and I left them there to die.

So this is me swallowing my pride,
Standing in front of you saying, "I'm sorry for that night,"
And I go back to December all the time.
It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you;
Wishing I'd realized what I had when you were mine.
I'd go back to December, turn around and make it alright;
I go back to December all the time.

These days I haven't been sleeping,
Staying up playing back myself leaving.
When your birthday passed and I didn't call.
And I think about summer, all the beautiful times,
I watched you laughing from the passenger side;
Realized I loved you in the fall.
And then the cold came, the dark days when fear crept into my mind,
You gave me all your love and all I gave you was "goodbye."

So this is me swallowing my pride
Standing in front of you saying, "I'm sorry for that night."
And I go back to December all the time.
It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you,
Wishing I'd realized what I had when you were mine.
I'd go back to December, turn around and change my own mind.
I go back to December all the time.

I miss your tanned skin, your sweet smile,
So good to me, so right, 
And how you held me in your arms that September night-
The first time you ever saw me cry.
Maybe this is wishful thinking,
Probably mindless dreaming,
But if we loved again, I swear I'd love you right.

I'd go back in time and change it but I can't...
So if the chain is on your door, I understand.

But this is me swallowing my pride
Standing in front of you saying, "I'm sorry for that night."
And I go back to December...
It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you,
Wishing I'd realized what I had when you were mine.
I'd go back to December, turn around and make it all right.
I'd go back to December, turn around and change my own mind.
I go back to December all the time.

Until Next Time.

"I'm Letting Go Of The Thoughts That Do Not Make Me Strong"

This weekend, I learned a few key lessons:

1) I love my family

----- The Jensen Family Reunion took place in Dillon, Colorado this past weekend and it was so much fun. This is my real dad's family and some of them I hadn't seen in years! My cousin, Mindy, for example, hadn't seen me since her wedding... in 1999! I got to meet so many small cousins and re-meet tons of other family. I loved it. And I did some massive shopping... it was the best. 

2) If you give your problems up to Heavenly Father, he will give you peace

----- I've been struggling with the acceptance of an inevitable event for a while, but I haven't been able to let it go. I haven't been able to accept the fact that he is getting married. And I don't know why I haven't been able to get over it. It was such a strange feeling that lasted too long. Thankfully, after massive amounts of prayers constantly and continuously, Heavenly Father granted me peace and serenity. I love him for helping me through my trials and giving me hope in the rough times.

3) Music is my favorite form of therapy 

----- Ok, this isn't a new lesson. Just something that is incredibly important in my life. I love music and the way that it speaks to me. I love that a certain song will come on the radio or on shuffle on my iPod at the EXACT right moment when I need it. I love (and hate) that I can remember events & memories far better if they are connected to a particular song. And I love how music helps me push through my trials. 

Living in the Moment- Jason Mraz

[My song of the month: June 2013]

I'm letting myself off the hook for things I've doneI let my past go past and now I'm having more funI'm letting go of the thoughts that do not make me strongAnd I believe this way can be the same for everyone...

-I'm living in the moment-Living my lifeEasy and breezyWith peace in my mindPeace in my heartPeace in my soulWherever I'm going I already knowTo live in the moment.





Until Next Time.

Two Weeks.

Here's to having your heart broken... 

and surviving through it!




Here's to feeling down and depressed...

and having friends to surround you and lift your spirits!




Here's to having ex-boyfriends get married...

and knowing that things will get better :)

What I Know- Parachute

Until Next Time.

One Year in Zion

  Last year, on April 22nd, I wrote this in my blog:

"As many of you know, I got baptized this weekend and am now a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints! This was an incredibly difficult, yet simple decision for me to make... I could feel the Spirit working in my life, putting all of the right pieces in place, and I felt his comfort in my life. Through my scripture study and my lessons, I knew that this was right. My prayers were being answered so much. Actually, I don't know if I've ever had my prayers answered at such a high amount as I have in the past few months. Its been an incredible journey, and I’m so happy that I've made it."

     Now, exactly one year later, I can still say that I am so happy for my decision! I love this Church and all of the blessings that I’ve gotten from being a member of it. I have had so many testimony-building experiences and prayers answered that have assured my conversion into this church and that have given me strength to endure to the end. 

     This year, I consistently met with the Elders in our ward and continued to have lessons with them. These not only helped answer questions that I had, but helped me to feel the Spirit more frequently. I also wrote missionaries as they were serving the Lord and gained so much insight, comfort, and strength by learning from their experiences. I have also had the incredible opportunity to participate in the Institute Unison Choir. Through this, I have learned so much from my Heavenly Father and gained insight into what he wants for me. I have also met so many incredible friends and saints in this choir whom help to guide me and help me find peace in times of trouble. In this choir, we are required to read from the scriptures daily, and as much as it has been a challenge for me, it has honestly helped me to grow closer to my Heavenly Father and Savior and instilled in me a love for the scriptures. 

  However, a few months back, I found myself in a spiritual drought. I was confused about my decision to join the church, I was having a hard time accepting gospel doctrine, and I was having a lot of the same confusion that I had while I was investigating the Church. After council from some friends (whom are spiritual giants!) and the bishop, I found that I needed to go to the temple to do baptisms. I had never been and I had a fear and uneasiness about the temple. However, I needed direction and I needed something to fuel my then weak testimony. Going to the temple was the best thing that I could have done. I felt such peace. After that experience, my doubt and troubles disappeared. 

  I have such a strong testimony of this Church and of my Heavenly Father and of the restored gospel. While this year has been especially trying for me, I am so glad that it happened the way it did because it brought me closer to my Savior and my Father in heaven. Today, on my one-year anniversary of being baptized into this Church, I received my patriarchal blessing. I am ready to continue on my path in this life and I can't wait to see what God has in store for me. He is the best! Whatever struggles and difficulties come my way, I know that I can overcome them because of my faith in Christ and relationship with my God. 

Until Next Time.

A friend loveth at all times...

As i'm winding down my night, I got the idea to read through some old letters and documents from a dear friend. I figured that this would help center my mind after a l-o-n-g night of studying for midterms.... This is what I found.  It is just what I needed.

"The fact of the matter is life will always have it's difficulties. It's how we handle and what we do in these instances that will define who we truly are. We must let difficulties define us, not destroy us. Those soon-past difficult moments will always determine our present and future destiny. So when the heat is turned up, let it refine you. When the rains of life come down to you and you are drowning in trials, rise above it enough to see that God has a purpose for you in that storm. Life in general, and difficulties specifically, are exactly what you make out of them."

I have the best friends. Even though this quote was taken from something received over a year ago, it applies perfectly to my life right now. My friends impact my life in so many ways, and help me to overcome difficulties and hardships even when they don't know it. So... if you are reading this; Thank you for supporting me and being my friend. I love you :)



Until Next Time.

Elder...errrr Brother

Today, I got the BEST surprise. I sat down at church, looked over, and saw Elder Corbitt and his wife, Lana! If you didn't know already, Elder Corbitt was the missionary that taught me about the LDS faith, and who baptized me! I haven't seen him since the end of last April, and he decided to visit Boise this weekend! After making the mistake of calling him Elder Corbitt, I slowly started calling him Brother Corbitt... Marcus was still too weird for me. Me and two other friends skipped our next church meeting, and caught up with him and Lana. It was so good. Lana was so nice too... they make such a great couple! Reminiscing about 2012, and learning about all the new things in all of our lives was so fulfilling and encouraging. It was great, and it reminded me about my baptism. It was a beautiful day and I loved it so much. I'm still in such an amazing mood!

I love Elder Corbitt!

[Elder Corbitt, myself, and Elder Choate on my baptism day]

A Reason. A Season. A Lifetime.

As much as we hate to admit it to ourselves, we are weak. We do the wrong things, we make the wrong choices, we date the wrong people, we mess up friendships, we start fights with people who are important to us, we are prideful and afraid to admit fear, defeat, and regret. Ultimately, we screw up. Fortunately, there exists this little thing called forgiveness. We can choose to forgive those who have wronged us and we can choose to forgive ourselves for the things we have done toward others. Without forgiveness and repentance to the one who saves, we are nothing. However, because of this process and opportunity, we can be granted with hope, peace, and strength to encounter what lies ahead.

Sometimes it is hard to accept that a situation, relationship, or friendship is over. However, once we realize the purpose of the encounter, we can finally move on with feelings of finality and peace. Some people may come into our lives for a reason; to teach us a lesson, to help us through trials, or to guide us to truth and happiness. These individuals might support us through struggles, encourage us through change, or push us to become something greater than our present. When this reason is accomplished, the connection may fade and disintegrate, but we can realize the lessons that have emerged because of this experience, and walk away from it.

Some may come for a season; whether it be a semester, a year, or more. These individuals often know us so deeply that a bond occurs; one which can lead to eternal happiness, friendship, and joy. However, if this bond isn't nourished, nurtured, and replenished, it may weaken and break. We hope that these situations will end up positively, but unfortunately, that is not always the case. Ties are severed, and often times, irreparable. Fortunately, after time and healing, there can be peace. Once we are in a place where we can realize the purpose for the season, we can begin to close this particular chapter and start anew. Some relationships go full circle, from start to end, with so much in between that we never forget the experience we have had. We put our memories and experiences in a box, and store them away forever. In many years down the road, we may open up that box and remember the times we shared learning, growing, and developing into something greater

Sometimes a person may come into our lives for a lifetime. With these individuals, times may get extremely tough. We might become angry, bitter, and mean. We might feel as though the relationship is dead. However, it always comes back. Forgiveness rebuilds from the rubble and creates something more beautiful than before. As a phoenix is recreated from it's ashes, we too may spur development of a new creation. A friendship may become deeper, a partnership may become fuller, re-energized by strength, purpose, and motivation. Hate, bitterness, and resentment transform into trust, confidence, and love. These occurrences and individuals bring forth purpose into our lives and create in us a new individual. And these situations reintroduce us to the experiences and commitments that demand and deserve time in our lives. 

This perspective sometimes may seem like it may never come. These relationships may seem as though they not producing fruit. But it will come. Be it something that comes quickly, or something which takes time to develop, it will come. The purpose will come to light, and the situation will prove to be meaningful. And when this time comes, we will walk talker, walk stronger, and walk with a renewed purpose in all that we know, are, and may become.

Until Next Time.

Monotonous Monday

I have been doing homework and classes all day, and the end is still yet to come. But with all of the busyness of my day, I still find time to become distracted and distant. When these times come, I get caught up in memories of days past. With these memories come regrets, fears, pain, happiness, joy, and relief.

Here are just a few of my thoughts, projected from the thoughts of others.

Until Next Time.

BFOTB and EGFOTG

For all you who are unsavy with the commonly-uncommonly used term, I will fill you in.

BFOTB=Best Friend of the Bride (official GG reference).

Which means.... My best friend & roommate is getting married!!!!!!!! This is so crazy, but i'm so happy for her!!! She is getting married on March 16th in the Boise temple. He's a pretty cool guy... well as much as a guy can be. And he's doesn't reach the level of outstandingly superbibility  that I do, but he is the next best thing... and he's a male. Which means that Jasmine should marry him. We are currently in the process of trying to find bridesmaids dresses, trying to find a reception location, and a plethora of other tasks. We have 6 weeks. I've never been involved in a wedding, let alone one that happens in 2 months! And one in which i'm the BFOTB! So here's an blogger toast to my crazy busy next two months! School, 2 jobs, finding a roommate, and wedding planning will prove to be the death of me.

(watch from 1:00)

In other news, I have yet to inform you of the other portion of this post.

EGFOTG= Ex-Girlfriend of the Groom 

(This was not a real term...until now).

My ex-boyfriend is getting married too! And yes, this is the same ex that was on a mission and that came home in August. He got engaged earlier this month and he is getting hitched June 14th. This 6 months will give me some time to adjust to this news. Story Time: On my way back to Boise after Christmas, I stopped at said boy's house to check in and talk. He had seemed distant during the last visit, and I had a lot of things on my mind. I had decided that I was not going to give him the emotionally-charged letter I had written, and instead, I would tell him in person of the feelings that I had. While we were exchanging small talk, he suddenly interjected that he bought a ring. Then he proceeded to go get it and show it to me. I was in shock. I couldn't say anything other than "this is crazy." At that point, I realized that my emotional battle with myself was over. And the next week when his engagement became official and the ring was on her finger, it really hit me. As much as it pained me, I had my answer and I knew what I had to do next. I was moving on. Seriously this time. And this is where I am at right now. I am trying to maneuver my life with these two incredibly big events in my path. In the next six months, my best friend will get married, my ex-boyfriend will get married, and another close friend will leave on her mission for 18 months. 

This is gonna be a rough semester.

But...

I am a fighter. I will survive it all. I will be the best bridesmaid ever. I will be the most supportive friend and I will do so because I want to. I love my friends and I am honestly so happy for them. And I look forward to starting this new chapter in my life. Things are changing, but this doesn't have to be a bad thing. This semester will be challenging, but hopefully, extremely rewarding

Here's to change, learning, and growth!

Until Next Time.

We Accept the Love We Think We Deserve

It's been a hard couple weeks.

Sometimes I find myself wondering if i'm doing things right. I wonder if i'm studying the right things, if i'm participating in the right activities, attending the right church, or dating the right guys. I sometimes remember situations and ask myself if I did the right thing, or if I handled the situation in the right way. If I would have done one thing differently, in multiple different experiences, my life would be completely different than it is now.

Sometimes I try to imagine how life would be if I was engaged or married.

Sometimes I try to imagine how life would be if I was still living in my hometown.

I go through times when it is really hard to see the good and amazing things that are happening around me. But although things are rough right now, they are also really amazing! I will graduate in just 3 more semesters. I may or may not apply and attend Grad School. I am getting real in-the-classroom experiences. I have a wonderful roommate and best friend. And I have a plethora of friends who surround me, and whom are willing to take time out of their days to pull me up from the deep. I truly have a blessed life. Sometimes it is just hard to remember that.

I will continue to march forward, with my goals staring me straight in the face, and I will do so with confidence, courage, and strength.

Until Next Time.